A conversation: food for thought
It was getting late. The nurses had done their handover for the night shift, and the lighting of the ward had been dimmed. One of the nurses came by my bed for a friendly chat as I sat there in my bed, as I obviously was not quite ready to sleep. (Come on, I'm a 26 year old! 😅)
As we chat, the nurse postulated that 'stress' could've been one of the contributing factors towards my health condition. (Stress does seem to be a bit of a generic explanation for health conditions of unknown causes. As it turns out, no-one definitely knows why certain diseases come about given current modern-day research. 🤷♂️)
"Why don't you go back to the Chinese stuff" he suggested, "like meditation?"
I responded, "Well, actually I am a Christian. So I do pray a lot."
The nurse (curiously) responded immediately, "Well, that didn't work!"
Had prayer failed me? Depends on what you personally think of prayer I suppose. Evidently, this nurse thought prayer had failed me - after all I clearly was laying right there in a hospital ward.
I've been learning to see prayer as a posture of dependence of God. I had certainly been doing lots of that these past few years, and so I replied,
"Well I pray through everything!"
A reflection: on Christian hope
Being a Christian is not easy. Just ask any seasoned Christian - life has hardships and low points, and that applies to Christians as much as anyone else.
I recall a missionary lady sharing (to me and a friend 🙂) on how God uses hard times for good. Her point was that God uses our stories of difficulty and struggles for His greater good purposes - which he can use to encourage others! Personal testimony (witness) is powerful! Don't believe me? Ask any seasoned Christian, missionary, pastor... I dare you!
So, sure, I could attribute my health conditions to a chain of cumulative stressful life events. I could pinpoint and blame the various circumstances.
But I'm not so concerned about that anymore - it pales in comparison to the bigger picture of the greater good that God is working through these situations. This becomes something beyond ourselves, extending to his Kingdom purposes. I can say that I certainly have grown in my trust in Jesus, in how I pray to Him, in how I think about and they why of 'ministry things' and persevere in them.
The good news of the Gospel means I can also rest in knowing that my eternal future is secure. I know I am loved. I know that Jesus is with me in the valleys (Psalm 121:1-2), and He is sovereign.
Talk about suffering transformed!
God uses 'suffering' and difficult situations and circumstances for good. Do you trust God's promises? Can you be sure of your Christian hope?
Romans 5:3-5
3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Psalm 30:5
[God’s] anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
I often like to think that God is writing the pages of my story*. Interwoven threads, messy threads. Today we may only see the messy underside of the cloth. But something beautiful is waiting to be revealed on "the other side".
I am not denying that it can be really difficult. I acknowledge that at times it honestly can be so... plain hard (for lack of better words).
But with God, it also really will be okay.
He has delivered in the past - look to the Cross, and look to the testimonies of the saints (including your own!). And He promises he will deliver you (again, and again, and again).
So don't despair, Christian. Look towards the beauty. Have faith. Hold on. Lift your eyes towards heaven eternity, and run the race! Keep on!
*ok, yeah I know predestination means they've already been written... but we don't see in full yet (1 Corinthians 13:12)
**I'm always intrigued by Hebrews 12:2 and the idea of finding 'joy in sorrow' in the Christian life. I suspect this truth it is best experienced through the harder seasons of life